I have read from a book that ‘honesty’ is an extreme virtue that can be used to bring justice and hurt to the people. This is not only particularly true in marriage but in general as well. When we speak of ‘complete’ honesty, does this mean that there’s a certain degree of being honest? Should there be a varying degree of being truthful to your partner in life?
White lies are tremendously common even in the healthiest of relationships. However, these little lies are only limited in omitting the truth to spare your loved one’s feelings. For example, your pregnant wife is asking for reassurance if she still looks pretty despite the effects of pregnancy on her. You then automatically tell her that she is still the most beautiful woman you’ve ever met. This may be a lie but not a grave deception that can seriously endanger your marriage.
Lies are not good when it bothers you and that you know that the outcome would mean a drastic change of your life. Lying is not recommended for important issues or subjects like health, career or family-related. Even though telling the truth at this point means hurting your loved one, you must tell him (or her) the entire truth regardless of the pain.
Let us give you some scenarios wherein you should never omit the truth or deceive your spouse:
- Addiction in form of drugs, sex/ porn, alcohol, shopping…etc.;
- Not being true to your feelings, needs, principles and beliefs;
- Taking away important details of a story in purpose;
- Special or close friendships your spouse does not know about;
- Sexual activity other than your spouse; and
- Purchases or financial decisions entirely on your own
Remember that dishonesty can bring destroy your family and even the respect of your kids. You will also set a wrong example to the little ones by implying that you should lie in order to get away and survive.